Supporting Pupils who want to 'come out'

Coming Out – that is disclosing information about personal sexual orientation is a huge step and young people have the right to expect that professionals whom they trust react appropriately and supportively.

This can be a particularly stressful experience for young lesbian, gay and bisexual people, as they need to think about the implications of coming out – in particular the reactions of other people. However all young people have the right to be open about their sexuality. A persons first experience of coming out can be extremely important to their future handling of their sexuality and many staff may feel that it would be better to refer to a specialist agency.

However pupils may choose to come out to a particular member of staff because they trust them or feel it would be difficult to talk to someone they do not know or a parent. Also if they are referred immediately the pupil could feel rejected. There is much that can be done to support young people if they disclose information about their sexuality. Offer support and validation without being patronising and with reassurance that:

• You are pleased they have chosen to confide in you.
• That there are many LGB people in the world.
• That it is perfectly OK to be lesbian, gay or bisexual.
• Do not react as though sexuality is a problem.
• If appropriate do offer to help them, find additional support such as a local support group.
• Nobody is expecting you to have all the answers, just to react positively and be supportive is enough.
• Remember schools are not obliged to inform parents if a child discloses information about their sexuality and any discussion with colleagues should be with the young person’s agreement.

Taken from ‘Stand Up For Us’ –Challenging Homophobia in Schools (Dfes 2004).